Robert's Drunken Blog (and other musings)

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2007-06-15T17:41:00.001-05:00

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2007-06-01T01:24:00.000-05:00

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Kenny's Travelogue

2007-01-17T22:00:00.000-06:00

Since Kenny doesn't have access to this blog, he asked me to post this for him:

After the "incident" at the prom this year, I thought it might be a good idea to get out of town for a little while. My new girlfriend went to pieces when I told her I was leaving town . . . heh . . . Anyway, I grabbed some stuff and headed to the bus station.

I saw the country, and stopped at a few interesting spots. I wonder if Mom Tifflemeyer . . . er I think that's how that's spelled. Anyway, I wonder if she knows about this place:

After a few days I realized I didn't have enough money to stay on the bus any longer, so I had to look for work.

It's not glamorous, but it'll get me back on the road. That's it for now. I'll continue once I have enough money to get going again.

Sniffle, sniffle...

2007-01-17T11:19:00.000-06:00

Okay, so now I'm starting to miss Stephen King...

Trip Successful

2006-12-23T22:55:00.000-06:00

If anyone is interested, me, Nick, Jenni, 2 dogs, and 1 cat made it to the Atlanta area in one piece.

That is all.

Slackers

2006-12-03T00:33:00.000-06:00

After watching Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut I looked over at the clock, and noted that it was only 9:15. I thought to myself "I haven't done anything this weekend, maybe I should go meet the Floss! people at Gannon's." I spent the next 15 minutes debating about going out in the cold. Then finally decided to go have some drinks with everyone.

I walked to Gannon's, and opened the door into a pretty full bar. I walked down to the dart board, didn't see anyone, and promptly turned around. I walked across the street to the back-up bar, the Goose. I walked in, looked over to the usual side, and spotted MB and Kitty. Walked over and ordered a drink. Apparently, no one else wanted to do anything tonight. And, MB and Kitty were about to leave when I got there. So, I had one drink with them, then came back home.

You know I expect better out of you drunkards.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T11:50:00.000-06:00

Eat it...I said EAT IT!!!

Have a great day everyone but dont get too fat for Floss! (I'm really just saying that to myself)

luv ya all

robert (just woke up, a little hungover, gonna have a bloody mary soon!)

Lobby

2006-11-17T22:30:00.000-06:00

YES!!!! Finally, someone has said it! The lobby is in horrible condition. My mom has offered to help a lot on redoing it...shes been to interior design school for something-number years and knows about that crap. Annoyance's lobby is pretty tight; they used chalkboards for walls and people can write on it. i dunno, just an idea we were thinking of. Oh, and by the way, ditto to what Robert or whoever it was said: I'm writin here cuz I, for one, Hungarian it, I mean Czech it more than my email.
-Will

Robert's Drunken Blog (and other musings)

2006-11-17T21:13:00.000-06:00

Ok this is Robert's Drunken Blog, bitches!!

Hey...thats enough of that!! Let's try, I know it's hard to, but let's try to be a little constuctive here. Now that the Cobbies are out and Wishbone Party on the 5th of December is in, I think we can and should all rally around making some money for Corn without having to get into costumes and singing and dancing etc...not that that isnt fun or what were here for but....look at the lobby people...for gods sake it sucks!!! The more money we raise will equal more that we can do to make the Corn lobby look better soooooooo...

One - Get people to the party. Wishbone, besides putting out food, is donating between 35 and 50% of all drink sales. I know we can all drink at least $50 worth each (i can probably do about $75-100) so if we get our friends to just stop by and have a drink or two we could make a lot of cash that way. Remember no admission fee!!

Two - lets get some more prizes and auction items. Michelle has been workin her ass off (and that aint easy) to get prizes etc and we can and should help. We all know someone we can ask to support and give us something, gift cert, basket, tickets, something...as our lord jesus sez, "ask and you shall recieve!"

Three - How can we make this even more fun? I was thinking we could also have a bake sale or cake walk or something gay like that. Michelle sez there may be a Tarot card reader...what about 5 min massages by Wills mom??? More thoughts? Hey you could post them here and use all that...ahem...brain power for good, not evil

So the moral of the story is lets try to kick some fundraisin ass!! I posted here because I figured you all read this more than ur emails anyway! Here's the info again if you wanna start spreadin the news

Tues Dec 5th Wishbone at 3300 N Lincoln for 6-9pm
No Admission
% of drinks go to Corn
Free Food
Silent Auction
Raffle
Tarot Card reader
Bake Sale???
All going to renovate the lobby

Thats all
I love you all
Now get a job...or if you have one...do it!! ( i pity your bosses/teachers/mothers.

robert (not drunk...yet)

Ok, Will is still wrong

2006-11-17T09:36:00.000-06:00

Technically, you are right about Chris, but he does go by Christopher Rex on all of his bios and programs.........Stephen uses his middle name, as his first name is actually John. And Nick has no 'E' in his name.

BJ is wrong

2006-11-16T20:11:00.000-06:00

Everyone has an E in their FIRST or LAST name except Chris. Rex is his middle name, and his first name isn't Christopher, just in case you were going to play that card on me. It might be, but not for the purposes of this. If it was full name, I would have based mine off William.

Will is Wrong

2006-11-16T19:06:00.000-06:00

Chris REX Jacobs....or CRex

What's in a name?

2006-11-16T18:12:00.000-06:00

Apparently, the letter E. Following is a list of the times you can find letters in our first and last names starting with the least and going up to the most. I compiled this during class today.
Z: 0
X: 0
F: 0
Q: 0
G: 1 (Stephen King)
V: 1 (Eve)
W: 2
J: 4
U: 4
P: 4
D: 5
B: 6
M: 6
K: 6
Y: 6
C: 8
H: 8
T: 11
I: 12
L: 12
O: 12
S: 12
R: 13
N: 13
A: 15
E: 17 (everyone has an E in their first or last name except Chris)

Seriously

2006-11-15T12:43:00.000-06:00

Shouldn't he be doing homework or something?

Company members names in numbers

2006-11-14T22:42:00.000-06:00

If you assign our names numbers (i.e. a = 1, b = 2, etc.) this is what it would look like. (SPACE equals space between first name and surname; if a letter has a double digit correspondent, followed by a single digit correspondent, the two are nontheless combined together. EXAMPLE: In Sara's name, "Kay" corresponds 11 for K, 1 for A, and 25 for Y. The result is 11125, because they're all put together. This gives the effect that people's numbered names are much longer than their conventional names.)Stephen King: 19205168514 119147
Eve Sorenson: 5225 191518514191514
Kitty Mortland: 119202025 13151820121144
Robert Bouwman: 1815251820 215212313114
Michelle Thompson-Hay: 13938512125 208151316191514-8125
Sara Kay Snider: 191181 11125 191494518
Nick Caruso: 149311 3118221915
Sarah Ballema: 1911818 2112125131
Jenni Cline: 10514149 3129145
BJ Stradley: 210 1920181412525
Dujuan Pritchett: 4211022114 16189203852020
Michael Brooks: 139381512 21815151119
PK Doyle: 1611 41525125
Chris Jacobs: 3818919 101315219
Will Riley: 2391212 18912525

Will needs a hobby

2006-11-14T19:46:00.000-06:00

Suggestions?

Tale of Two (or 15) Company Members, by Will Riley

2006-11-14T00:13:00.000-06:00

Stephen is the lame duck member
His image is but a fading ember
He will soon be gone
And a new day will dawn
And him; will we remember?

Nick is Mr. Sound design geek
In that area, he is certainly not weak.
He works really hard
He's not a retard
He may or may not like creeks.

BJ is a big-time nerd
He definitely belongs in that herd
But we are all proud of his work
It's certainly better than a Turk's
But not better than a Kurd's

Jenni is the webmokey's wife
Who cares if she's pro-choice or pro-life?
She went blind in Crypt
And blood she sipped
She then proceeded to cut off my arm with a knife

Kitty has the best laugh of the group
The first time I heard it it threw me for a loop
She is vegan i think
Thank goodness her ship didn't sink
'Cause we all know she came over to america after a coup

Sarah calls herself Sarah One
To her, we say, Thanks a ton
Shes done a whole lot for Corn
When shes not in a show, we mourn
But then we party and have fun

Dujuan is the black dude
He gets us in a good mood
He's one of the founders
When Jenni wed, he gown'd her
Well, maybe not, who cares?! At least he's not rude

Michelle Thompson Hay has a long last name
I have to write a long second line now...that's lame.
She's the managing director
She's a theater erector
I dunno what that means but to my mind, that's what came.

MB is Michael Brooks
He's not one of them crooks
He's a very very funny man
He enjoys big hairy purple crayons
I wonder what he likes. Maybe books?

PK is a loyal dem
With her, we found a gem.
Shes been around a long time
Maybe we should reward her with a lime.
or a big fat M & M

Sara is Sara Two
She brings an artistic view
She does a lot of work on sets
I think she has cats...ya know...pets.
She doesnt ever ever ever say boo.

Eve is a very fine lawyer
To the plaintiff she is an annoyer
She has done some work with us
I don't think Ive ever heard her cuss
For that, let's make her wait in the cold, damp, dank foyer.

Chris is the one and only Bobby Corn.
His chest, medals do adorn.
He gets teased a crapload
Maybe he should switch into rap mode.
Nah, that'd only receive scorn.

Robert is the artistic director and founder
Compared to me, his reputation is sounder
But that's not saying too much
Because I suck more than the Dutch
When the princess was stuck, he heroically unwound her

I am a total buffoon.
I stink up the joint worse than a raccoon.
Or a possum, for that matter
But I climb up the ladder.
And I jump down onto a baboon.

Another Motion

2006-11-12T23:54:00.000-06:00

How about "You must be as drunk as Will to write!"? All those in favor.

Will, where is your stash?

A Motion

2006-11-12T21:30:00.000-06:00

I would like to put forth a motion to change the title of this blog to "Will's Drunken Blog." If it needs be a title with a segement in parenthesis, then I propose, "Will's Drunken Blog (for fuck's sake)."

All those in favor?

MK

May contain explicit language?

2006-11-12T17:52:00.000-06:00

This blog, which says "May contain explicit language; be warned," and has a warning sign that you reach when trying to get to it from the Corn site, does not contain many very widely used explicit words: Motherfu**er, cu**, shi*, peni*, puss*, dil**, and probably others. You cornholes can certainly do better!

From the Mixed-up files of Mr. Will Riley

2006-11-11T17:35:00.001-06:00

There is a girl named Sue. She is sitting at a table with four piles of drawings in front of her: drawings of me, drawings of her, drawings of her teacher, and drawings of her best friend. She wants to tear one of the pictures. I come in and say "Tear a 'me', Sue."

There is a bunch of bodily fluid from the center of a thing. There are several special interest groups sitting around a table bargaining with this bodily-fluid-from-the-center-of-something. They all want this thing to join their group and embody their group. One of the groups says, "Hey. Be us, core puss."

A scientific survey is performed to see which profession produces the most poop. The scientists look at a mill, a jewelry factory, a real estate office, and an auto dealership. They record their results by going into the bathroom of the place and taking all the crap from the toilet. They then put it into a measuring cup without measurements. Since there are no measurements, the scientists just have to report to the boss which poop fills the cup the most. After extensive research, they go back to the boss and say, "Mill turds fill more."

A guy named frank once asked a girl named lynn what she'd been doing. She had been playing her guitar. Lynn's answer to Frank's question is written as follows in history textbooks:
"Been jammin' Frank."
-Lynn

My mom wants new grass in her backyard. It is a very well-known fact. Everyone knows she wants new grass, but no one knows her name. On Who Wants to be a Millionaire, there was a question that went like this:
Seine wants ______
The contestant responded
"Sod. Um, who's Seine?"

Dear Mr. Riley,

2006-11-10T12:53:00.000-06:00

Thank you for recent play submission, however we do not believe it is appropriate for our audience. While I do not doubt your artistic vision, we are unsure how repeating the word "blog," and variations thereof really constitutes a show. This may be more suited to a performance art festival, or maybe the Vagina Monologues. Anyway, we have decided to go a different direction with our new season. We are currently working on our next musical, Carp. Thank you for your time, and keep writing! You'll get there someday.

Thanks.

Will, you ok?

2006-11-10T08:50:00.000-06:00

Apparently, Will has snapped. Either it was the stress of the 4 day weekend, and as we all know those can be stressful for a 13 year old......Or, Dems running this country again have made Will too relaxed. Or perhaps we, as a country, are now all breathing again.

Will, keep on blogging. It makes for some fun reading, even if "Blog" covers the entire page over and over again (dont worry, with a good director, we can make that work.)

B

Bloggity Blog Blog. I like Blog.

2006-11-09T23:50:00.000-06:00

Nick likes blog. Nick likes me blog. I like blog. He say priceless. I say more. More, more, more, more, more. Blog, blog, blog, bloggity, blogged, blog blah, blah, HA HA. Blog. Blog Blaaaahhhhg. This is a blog. I. Like. It. Blog More? As k and ye shall receive. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Ha Ha Stephen. You don't like, me like. Nick like. Here we go!!! Bloggy Bloggy Bloggy. I play with Bloggy. Blog is fun. Blog is my friend. Blog can be Stephen's friend, too. Blog, blog. He, He, He, He He. Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho. Hum. Ha, Ha stephen. I have a 4 and a half day weekend. Ha ha sucker. Blog. Blog. Blog. ME and blog, one and inseparable, a perfect union. Blahg, Blog, Blogg, no matter how you spell it, it is there for you. Shall I go into the kitchen to get the blog? Will I go into the kitchen to get the blog? May I go into the kitchen to get the blog? Remember that guys??!! Blog remmebers it. Blog has photographic memory. Blog, blog, blog. I'm going to play with it. Hi blog. Hi will. How are you. Good. Stephen tells me not to play with you. We are accepting of all people here in blog-land. If this Stpehen you speak fears me, who cares. We must accept him. Blog, thank you for your wise guidance. You are all-knowing. Bye blog. Bye will.

BOB Training

2006-11-04T16:57:00.000-06:00

I went to Corn today for the kids show and learned how to BOB. BOB is both a noun and a verb. You can 'floss'... whoops. You can BOB, or you can be a BOB. It stands for Box Office B****. I have never BOBed before, as I've been in every show since I became a company member at 8:15 pm central time on April 18, 2006. (Only co. members BOB...well, usually) By the way, Crypt closed Halloween night. So anyway, it would seem pretty straightfoward...collecting money and counting it, but BOBs have other duties as well. So PK was bobbing today and she trained me on what to do. I now am going to be on my own on Saturday the 11th. But I think I'll be ready. I also got to see the show for the first time since the drunken preview. The most tiff-a-rific, mom-sational, spellbinding, smellbinding, mindbending, winebending, darwin proving, gravity challenging thing about the show is seeing Stephen King in that little yellow thing. Absolutely priceless.

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T17:08:00.000-06:00

Happy Halloween everyone!!!!!!!!!!!
This year is the first year I haven't dressed up. It's also the first year I haven't gone trick-or-treating. I haven't had time for either.
We celebrated today in school by having 1:00-2:30 off to just do whatever we pleased, but I, the class nerd, just sat in a corner and read Bill Clinton's autobiography.

I ponder the scheduler's reasoning

2006-10-29T01:45:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow we have a 7:00 show, instead of the normal 8:00 time. I ponder if this is because the person who scheduled it thought that a lot of people wouldn't realize that daylight savings time had started (or ended?). We will be going back an hour tonight (fall back). I bet a lot of people will forget to reset their clocks and will come at "8:00" looking to see the show, when it will really be 7:00. But it will be OK, because it will actually be 7:00, but they'll be right on time. Whereas if the show had been scheduled for 8:00, they'd come, but they'd be an hour early. Although, as Vince Lombardi said, "If you're early you're on time, if you're on time you're late, and if you're late you're fired." It's confusing, but what I'm trying to say is I applaud the person who made the show at 7. They were brilliant, whoever they were.

When you need a boost.....

2006-10-27T15:30:00.000-05:00

So, going into a weekend where I have 7 shows in 3 days, I am glad that I am going to be taking my 5 Hour Energy. That's right, 5 Hour Energy is the best solution to your lack of energy over a 5 hour period. It gives you a nice warm feeling, like a shot of Vodka, but actually makes you want to run around, not run around naked. What rocks about 5 Hour Energy is that it doesn't end with a crash at the pre-designated 5 hours. You are sitting there, maybe you're standing, at 4 hours and 30 minutes and you say, 'Wow, I feel great. Not jittery like some other energy drinks might make me feel.' Then, at 5 hours and 30 minutes you are sitting, maybe standing, and you are like, 'Wow, I feel great. There was no crash at all. I am back to my normal energy level. Perhaps I will take a nap, maybe do the dishes. Who knows. Thanks 5 Hour Energy!'. So, if you are like me and you talk to yourself often after taking an energy drink, think 5 Hour Energy when you are having a conversation. You may talk to yourself, but at least you wont shake when you do it.

god I hate people

2006-10-27T03:22:00.000-05:00

You Shutup and You Shutup!!!!!

And now for something completely different...I know I have only been a condo owner for 5 months...but why do the assholes get more attention than the cooler folk...especially the bitches sleepin with the developers. (god its such a long story but sufficeth to say, her drain is not clogged cuz its filled with a hairy secptor...but i digress...not only but also...( my favorite preposition if anyone is keepin tabs or if later when Im dead, needs to answer "robert trivia" ( dont be so shocked, i will be dead someday... and then all your dreams will come true) its hard to sign away your favorite person in the world ( i am harkoning back to "not only but also" so keep up). I mean sometimes the only thing that keeps you going is the cool people you "happen" to surround yourself with...when they gone...well...they gone....and when i think back its always the people that make Corn and what i strive to make Corn what it is...good...well, product helps...and good reviews etc but...the people...the folks...when they are all gone...will i be too? Will I be happy to be? Will I...will...WILL!! ...save me!!! ( I was gonna write...I like Will ...but i stopped lest people think Im a child molester...hmmmmm...at least I'm not an asshole condo person!!! (nor a child molestor, if you had to ask) )

But back to assholes and hating them...waiting tables started it, theater coaxed it, and life affirmed it...I hate people...but...why is there always a big butt Tiffani?... even when i say that, why do i feel the falseness gorge rise in my throat? Is it cuz hating people is an easy out and a false god. Or maybe cuz its easier to say you hate people than to love them and wait to be disappointed. Again and again and again...ever ever ever ever ever...EVER! IRreggardless...i sit and wait and hate...waiting to stop hating and hating to stop waiting...while I pleasantly force the world past my window...what do you do when the best you can do is hope that things dont fuck up too much...and that is your happiness?

Get the fuck over Stephan parking 3 inches in "your"(not really but we will deal with that at the next meeting) goddamn parking spot Nina you Polish whore!!!

Wow...I feel slightly better...Happy Halloween!

robert (drunken)

Thanks to C. Rex

2006-10-22T21:53:00.000-05:00

I, like many others, like to give Chris Jacobs a hard time, but he really stepped up to the plate Saturday night saving our collective asses (mine in particular). Anyway, one of our understudies thought she was only needed Friday night, and not Saturday night as well. Chris was running box office that night, and gladly accepted the task of stepping into the affected scenes. Fortunately, the scenes he was needed for were not line intensive for him, so it wasn't too difficult a task. Anyway, I just wanted to give a sarcasm-free thanks to Chris.

The Curse of Deathbed and other musings

2006-10-22T01:10:00.000-05:00

So for the third consecutive night, something has gone wrong in Deathbed, a scene that should be very easy...I have one line, skip out, get my velcroed-on arm cut off, push down a little trigger in my pocket, and have blood come up a tube and out of my shoulder. Sounds simple, and it is. BUT.... 3 nights ago my arm never came off and I didn''t notice it until the scene was over, 2 nights ago my arm came off prematurely and I didn't notice it until I was already falling down, and {drumroll please} tonight, everything ran smoothly in terms of my arm coming off, but when Jenni lifted the knife up to cut off my arm, blood that had collected on the end of it flew off into my eye, so I was covering my eye and falling and screaming in REAL pain because it stung like nobody's business. Before the show, I was like, "It should work tonight...it didn't come off, then it came off early, tonight it should come off at just the right time." And I was right, to an extent, but I believe Deathbed is cursed for me. Also, during our late-nite shows I'm havin trouble, like I said. But now I'm talkin about my change from one of the scenes to another. In one, I'm wearin a bra and high heels. In the next I'm wearing wings, disco pants, small gloves, and an annoying seal cloak. Time allowed to change: about 30 seconds. Hard? Um, ya think?

Now introducing Will Riley, age 13, whose initials spell WAR.

2006-10-21T14:29:00.000-05:00

So when Nick started the blaaahhg I was like, sweet. But I didn't have time to ever write in it, plus I wasn't sure how to join. But now I'm here. Anyway, Crypt 9 has been pretty stressful, but actually not as stressful as I thought it was gonna be...until last nite. I HATE THE LATE-NITE SHOWS!!!!!!!!!! Last night was our first one, and I had so much trouble getting my crap around after it, and I lost three costume pieces in the process (or misplaced them). I like the whole concept of a late show, don't get me wrong, plus it's an awesome learning experience (as is every Corn show) but I'm havin trouble.

Girls Gone Wild

2006-10-18T15:12:00.000-05:00

Here is a pic of me when my dress fell off the other night that I just recieved. My favorite part is that Will's head is blocking some of the poster print so it just says "Asses" under my almost bare butt.

Fantastic.
Oh yeah, WE OPEN TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's my drunken blog and I'll muse if I want to...

2006-10-18T01:20:00.000-05:00

So we open tomorrow and yes we are (not) READY!!! The perfectionist in me (and I'm sure the one in Mom, Mb, Nick, Kitty etc etc etc) wishes the "i's" were crossed and the "t's" dotted... when ya have three weeks to do a 13 sketch show with three musical numbers and countless blood effect and a 13 yr old boy in drag...well ya learn early that the 13 yr old boy in drag is the least of your worries. But it's funny goddammit and scary (beyond me and nick in our underwear) and I'm proud. So to all of you hard workin funny/scary bitches I say TTMF (tak tak mother fuckers) and to you who havent seen the show...please hop aboard the Tiff and Mom train...you'll be glad you did (plus you will get all these inside jokes)...Tooooooooot toooooooooooot..hop aboard...Tooooooooooooooot toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot... it's coming in your station...Toooooooooot tooooooooooooooot...somebody get a sponge! ( and get me a Xanex)

love

drunkass tiff

I Think I Pissed Off Ms. Lansbury...

2006-10-17T13:08:00.000-05:00

...because my preview performance was a complete disaster. Not the worst of it being that I ripped my skirt in Sweeney Mom, forgot my lyrics and when I died my skirt fell down. So there I was, dead, bent over head first in a cube, dead, with my pantyhosed ass sticking up in the air while the photographer snapped pictures. Dead. I know I said it a couple-a times before but it felt worth repeating.

Also I realized that I may need to re-think some of the blood effects. A few of them failed miserably last night and I am realizing that there are serious functionality issues. What I mean by that is no one in the cast has giant gorilla hands to squeeze big syringes full of blood. I wanted big ones for lots of blood, but what is the point of having lots of blood if it never comes out. It will be better tonight. In the words of the late, great stand-up comic Mitch Hedberg: "This joke stinks. It's broken. I'm gonna take out all of the words and put in new ones. Then it will be fixed."

Oh and speaking of blood...

I got a recipe off of the internet that I saw on several sites on how to make blood using a laundry detergent and food coloring. This appealed to me because it seemed to be less sticky than our usual recipe, and I figured it would wash out very easily since it is made of detergent.
Well, first of all, it doesn't like to come out without bleach. This should tell you something about the super powers that red food coloring has in its possession. Don't mess with that stuff in a dark alley.
Oh yeah, secondly, it isn't the best stuff to use when it could be flying around. I thought about the costumes far more than I thought about us actors on stage apparently and last night I paid for it. During the failure of my big bloody moment, my syringe emptied into my pocket instead of my neck. In a moment of panic trying to save the gag, I brought my hand up to smear some blood on my neck, but slipped in the puddle of goo that had dripped out of my pant leg. So instead I busted my knee and proceeded to put blood right into my eyeball.
I couldn't wash it out because there wasn't really any time to do so (the glory of live theater) so I just kind of wiped it away and put some drops in after the show.
To make an already long story a little shorter, I just got back from the doctor after finding out that I have a chemical burn on my right eyeball that is starting to get infected and that it may take 4 or 5 days for it to heal. At least my sight isn't messed up at all. The doctor was very frightened of that.

So to everyone who uses blood in the show, I love you and I am sorry I put your eyes in danger. There will be new blood tonight. At least it was me who got hurt. I would rather feel like a dumbass, then a really sorry and guilty dumbass.

And to end this posting on a happy note. I am having so much fun, and at least now I know it can't get much worse. Oh, and I told you all there was plenty of time for things to go wrong. :)

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Lovett!

2006-10-16T14:37:00.000-05:00

It's Angela Lansbury's 81st birthday today! (Yes, I heard that on NPR, how did you guess?) A good omen for the first preview.

Happy Birthday, Ms. Lansbury. There's a chubby teen in Berwyn and a forty-something guy at 4210 N. Lincoln doing you great justice for the rest of October.

Ok, everyone sing. Five, four, three, two, one!

Wicked Mad Props

2006-10-16T11:24:00.000-05:00

Nick -- wicked mad props on the blood and the sound design.

Robert -- wicked mad props on keeping it together, or together enough for you to be able to tell the rest of us what's what.

Everyone else -- wicked mad props on stepping up and pulling this puppy off. This is a really fun show and I, too, will miss it when it's all over. Though I may still bitch a little about the sleep deprivation factor until then. And the fact that I can't stop singing "cafeteRIa." :D

Mercy to none!

*burp*

MK

3:20 a.m. and counting

2006-10-16T03:27:00.000-05:00

Yeah, you know how sometimes you get really excited 'cause you're home after final dress by 11:40 and in bed by midnight and you think "Fie on you, tech-week! You cannot defeat me! I am invincible!" And then you lie in the dark staring at the ceiling and blink for three hours and twenty minutes.

Any guesses as to whether I'll be formatting prospect reports for public radio tomorrow? Anyone? Anyone?

But in the last few hours I've solved our 13-year old cast member's quick change problem (Will - set the whole Billy costume backstage, and put it all on under Apprentice during Charlie Brown), I can tell you exactly how Jonathan and Sarah from "The Secret" spent every minute of their first 24-hours together, and I have a 3 point plan to alter the skirt that Mom doesn't need altered because she's going to find a different costume. But just in case, Mom, I've got a 3 point plan. (For the record, the last time I had a 3 point plan it was for the upholstery on the chaise in Bad Seed. My third point nearly took Mom's thumb off early in the run. So that skirt is gonna be Wear At Your Own Risk.

From a newer perspective......

2006-10-15T23:45:00.000-05:00

So, here I am.....midnight on a Sunday night. I have been at the theatre for a total of 30 hours in the last 72 hours, and I don't care. (well maybe I'll care at 7 am whilst I am on my way to work, but I doubt it.) This is a truly amazing show to be working on and I am more than proud to be a part of it. I have heard stories from Old Cornstalkers about previous shows that have gone up with a week of rehearsal or had been promoted a year before even deciding what the show was, but I never thought I would be in that boat, and yet here I am. There is something special about working so much and so closely with a group of people who work as hard as this cast does.

2 weeks ago, I was freaking out cause I had no idea what we had created from scratch and had planned on putting up. We were given music that sounds, in my opinion, better than the original music. We were given scripts that left little room for awkward silences and groans. We were given dance moves that could have, and might still, killed us. I can honestly say that today, I know this is going to be an amazing show and am sad that we are only up for 2 weeks. I am going to miss the people and I am going to miss the feeling that it could all go horribly wrong it we aren't on the ball.

So, I know am going to climb into bed. I know that when we have our preview tomorrow, people are going to be amazed. Thank you all for all of your amazing work. You make theatre as much fun as it is.

BJ

Update from the Tech Geek

2006-10-15T11:19:00.000-05:00

It works, I can't believe it works. And by it, I mean everything so far I have tried to do in this short amount of time. Scott Lamberty and I collaborated to create an awesome sound design for this show and it is working. It will be even better when we get the original scene change music from Stephan Germain. ( It would be even better if people would actually come and listen to my sound design for Don't Turn Out The Lights II, C'mon people. Where u at?)

We even bought a new dimmer pack and lights for the theater and I had to rewire everything so they would work in our space, and it is all working.

I really wanted to try something new for the blood effects this year and, if my test last night was any indication of what is to come, they are working too and someone may puke. I think Robert may be right about this being the bloodiest Crypt. It is definitely the most blood I have had to produce at one time. My feelings are mixed, however, about not being covered head to toe in blood this year. Ahhh memories.

One of my favorite things is that people in this cast have all been so awesome about busting their behinds, to make sure that I don't have to do everything, and have been picking up hammers and sewing machines to take on jobs themselves late at night. I love and thank you all, because you are also working.

And last but cer-tant-leet not least, I am finally done with Sweeney Mom. Let me give you a little background on myself. I am a drummer, I don't really read music all that well, I don't play piano, I love Sondheim and I think it is a cardinal sin to destroy his music and I have done Sweeney Todd twice in the last 10 years. So when Robert told me he wanted to do a 12 minute spoof of Sweeney Todd, because he thought it would be EASIER than trying to do a Tiff and Mom spoof of The DaVinci Code, I almost pooped my pants. I obviously then decided that this was going to be so hard that I wanted to arrange the music myself and musical direct it because....um....I am an idiot. BUT IT WOOOOORRRRRKKKED!!!!!!!!!!! It sounds so good, and it works, and it looks great, and it works, and the cast sounds so amazing that I get chills, and it works.

So for the love of God, if for nothing else come see this show just to see if I will be eating my words. There is still plenty of time left for things to stop working!

6-6-6 days b$ we open and im feelin fine

2006-10-13T00:59:00.000-05:00

Robert's Drunken Blog (and other musings)

I aint got much tonite and im not really drunk (just drunkish) but im feelin ok. This show experience reminds me a lot of old school Corn. (I know u yungins r sick of hearin bout the past but remember...those who forget the past r destined to repeat it!!) We have to dive right in we dont get a breath til...well maybe never. But it is so much fun that way. No time for second guessing (unless you were at dance rehearsal tonite! my god left right right left i aint never gonna get it right left no no how know now no neither any who!) But none of it matters when we get to where we are going and that feeling of having people laugh and love what we do.

But if you are a casual reader of this blog or a curious bystander, (what does that even mean) I say expect great things from this years Crypt. More blood then ever, (well in theory), great laughs and a few great scares...and Sweeney Mom. If you love the show like me and can't imagine it being parodied...well I think we give it the same loving ribbing that we did to "The Bad Seed" and I know Mom's gonna be nominated for her second Jeff!! (not really cuz they're not coming...but we can dream (on how to punish Mom!)) Never the less, the show will be readyish and I hope it will be full of all of you casual readers! One more year and Tiff and Mom are gone forever so see them now!! In fact, buy your tickets online right now b4 they sell out!!!

ok im done i have a super king vegetarian burrito ( i ate the steak one last nite) to eat before i pour myself into bed. Ahhh Corn, the toughest job you'll ever love! ( I got that from a wall!)

ttmf

robert

Robert's Drunken Blog (and other musings)

2006-10-07T00:55:00.000-05:00

Robert's Drunken Blog (and other musings)

So I guess it's about time. I mean...well... i haven't been drunk b4 today (oh yeah right u say...i wasn't drunk til now?... well i wasn't... til now, those nights i drank and was slurring my words talking bout how i was gonna make u all famous... i just was "happy"...."happy "... goddamnit... "happy"!!!!!) so how could i "drunken blog"? Well now im "officially" drunk. (wednesday nite was just practice, nick just practice..although i think we all learned alot!) so what do i have to say that everyone...or anyone...would wanna read. I know "David Cerda writes a great blog" but what does anyone wanna hear from me? (and will david cerda read my blog..and do i care..and who are you?)

Well I have come to the conclusion...you're not writin the blog so fuck you. i will ramble and you will read or ignore...sorta like my life.

Mismatched Drunken Thoughts - (my new segment)

By this time most years Crypt woulda been opened by now...we don't even have all the choreography yet..but we do have a flow chart!!

I love new people (yes im talkin to u jason and lauren) all the good...none of the bitterness..yet!

I love old people ( ok im saying this partly cuz i dont wanna piss off the old people...but i really do love them) I mean when can you speak nonsense and have people understand what you are saying. I love when the "oldies" show up ready for action...almost as an affront as to what you could challenge them to do. Like 'fuck you robert...gimme a note...just try it bitch!" i love that!!

and Mom you old bitch i love you too...but not for the reasons you thinkin

i love feeling scared and lost, knowing that it will disappear for a bit, but never leave...we have nothing to fear but feeling no fear. what a motivater! (motivator? motivateer? spell check??!?!)

somebody get a sponge!!

i feel often im repeating myself... then i think about it and its not the same thing... just the same joke in a better context

I love old number 48...lol!!!

its PK alley and its OK

i worry...the things i love will be the things i hate and vice versa...who can help with that?

it kills me to write something and not have it meet my expectations

i never wish for world peace...just a piece of ass! (that was actually Mom's drunken ramble not mine..she tool over for a bit)

DON'T!

oK enough of the ramblings for now...i wanna say..every show i do i feel is Broadway worthy...im so confident and completely back everything we do...i know we are the "sophomoric delights of chicago" ( i made that up but doesnt it sound like what a critic would say...especially JONATHON ABARBANEL or as Larry Bommer calls him.."the Queen of Sheba" ( I really just threw in the J.A. reference for Sarah (and to maybe get free publicity)...get it Sarah!! hahahahahahaha!) but to me he seems more like the "Munchkin of Nothing" (oh no u didn't!)) but i feel so not ready to open this show...(that was a leap and alotta parenthetical expressions to get through...(are u ok? i mean it...call someone if you feel dizzy) but we dont open for 10 days...so how can i be really worried! (where's my Xantax?!?..no really where...ill pay top price)

well what ever happens at least its beneath my planet

TTMF

robert

I Hate Sondheim

2006-10-06T20:52:00.000-05:00

Not really, but I am very burned out from working on music for Sweeney Mom. I will have maybe half of it done by rehearsal tomorrow. Who would have thought that trying to arrange the score from a 2 1/2 hour musical into a 12 minute parody would be a challenge? :)

The only thing keeping me going is that it all sounds SOOOOO friggin good that I can't wait to hear it all when it is done. Very exciting!

Fine... I will post something that is actually informative.

2006-10-04T16:27:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone in cyberland,

We are halfway thru our second "hard core" week of rehearsals for Tales from Mom's Crypt 9: Beneath the Planet of the Tiffs and things are shaping up very well. It is going to be an exciting show with lots of laughs and a good number of scares as well.

We start learning choreography (that's right, there is dancing :0 ) this weekend and will begin runthroughs on Monday. It has been a very fast paced and fun process so far but, with only having 3 1/2 weeks from first blocking rehearsal to opening night, I am sure we have many a stressful night ahead of us yet to come. Can't wait!

The big question that remains to be answered is this... when will the elusive Drunken Robert actually post something prolific. Also, is anybody who isn't involved in the show actually going to read this post. We shall see.

Gotta go learn lines now.

Nick

Hmmm...

2006-10-03T10:38:00.000-05:00

You know, there's a lot of sticking that happens at the Stick 'n Licks, but not a lot of licking.

We should work on that.

What is this blog thing you speak of....

2006-09-09T07:53:00.000-05:00

What is this blog thing you speak of? I am not familiar with your crazy languge and terms. Is this some kind of evil magic?

No...no....get away!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

sorry fell out of my chair.

Blog

2006-09-08T22:34:00.000-05:00

It's Blog, It's Blog
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood
It's Blog, It's Blog
It's better than bad, it's good

Let the games begin.......

Well

2006-09-08T22:33:00.000-05:00

This can only lead to trouble . . .

slaps own forehead

2006-09-08T22:04:00.000-05:00

I'm not drunk yet, but I thought I'd post anyway. Mostly to make fun of Nick's Bahston accent. Which doesn't translate so well in a blog. C'est la vie.

La vie.

Please pass the vodka.

MK

Welcome

2006-09-08T19:58:00.000-05:00

Hey Corn...welcome to the 21st Century!!!! Here is a picture of me after puking in Wisconsin 3 years ago. Way to start this blog off on a high note. That is why I called it a blaaahg!

Robert's Drunken Blog (and other musings)

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3:20 a.m. and counting

From a newer perspective......

Update from the Tech Geek

6-6-6 days b$ we open and im feelin fine

Robert's Drunken Blog (and other musings)

I Hate Sondheim

Fine... I will post something that is actually informative.

Hmmm...

What is this blog thing you speak of....

Blog

Well

*slaps own forehead*

Welcome

slaps own forehead