I Think I Pissed Off Ms. Lansbury...

...because my preview performance was a complete disaster. Not the worst of it being that I ripped my skirt in Sweeney Mom, forgot my lyrics and when I died my skirt fell down. So there I was, dead, bent over head first in a cube, dead, with my pantyhosed ass sticking up in the air while the photographer snapped pictures. Dead. I know I said it a couple-a times before but it felt worth repeating.

Also I realized that I may need to re-think some of the blood effects. A few of them failed miserably last night and I am realizing that there are serious functionality issues. What I mean by that is no one in the cast has giant gorilla hands to squeeze big syringes full of blood. I wanted big ones for lots of blood, but what is the point of having lots of blood if it never comes out. It will be better tonight. In the words of the late, great stand-up comic Mitch Hedberg: "This joke stinks. It's broken. I'm gonna take out all of the words and put in new ones. Then it will be fixed."

Oh and speaking of blood...

I got a recipe off of the internet that I saw on several sites on how to make blood using a laundry detergent and food coloring. This appealed to me because it seemed to be less sticky than our usual recipe, and I figured it would wash out very easily since it is made of detergent.
Well, first of all, it doesn't like to come out without bleach. This should tell you something about the super powers that red food coloring has in its possession. Don't mess with that stuff in a dark alley.
Oh yeah, secondly, it isn't the best stuff to use when it could be flying around. I thought about the costumes far more than I thought about us actors on stage apparently and last night I paid for it. During the failure of my big bloody moment, my syringe emptied into my pocket instead of my neck. In a moment of panic trying to save the gag, I brought my hand up to smear some blood on my neck, but slipped in the puddle of goo that had dripped out of my pant leg. So instead I busted my knee and proceeded to put blood right into my eyeball.
I couldn't wash it out because there wasn't really any time to do so (the glory of live theater) so I just kind of wiped it away and put some drops in after the show.
To make an already long story a little shorter, I just got back from the doctor after finding out that I have a chemical burn on my right eyeball that is starting to get infected and that it may take 4 or 5 days for it to heal. At least my sight isn't messed up at all. The doctor was very frightened of that.

So to everyone who uses blood in the show, I love you and I am sorry I put your eyes in danger. There will be new blood tonight. At least it was me who got hurt. I would rather feel like a dumbass, then a really sorry and guilty dumbass.

And to end this posting on a happy note. I am having so much fun, and at least now I know it can't get much worse. Oh, and I told you all there was plenty of time for things to go wrong. :)