Dear Mr. Riley,

Thank you for recent play submission, however we do not believe it is appropriate for our audience. While I do not doubt your artistic vision, we are unsure how repeating the word "blog," and variations thereof really constitutes a show. This may be more suited to a performance art festival, or maybe the Vagina Monologues. Anyway, we have decided to go a different direction with our new season. We are currently working on our next musical, Carp. Thank you for your time, and keep writing! You'll get there someday.

Thanks.