Lobby

YES!!!! Finally, someone has said it! The lobby is in horrible condition. My mom has offered to help a lot on redoing it...shes been to interior design school for something-number years and knows about that crap. Annoyance's lobby is pretty tight; they used chalkboards for walls and people can write on it. i dunno, just an idea we were thinking of. Oh, and by the way, ditto to what Robert or whoever it was said: I'm writin here cuz I, for one, Hungarian it, I mean Czech it more than my email.
-Will

BJ is wrong

Everyone has an E in their FIRST or LAST name except Chris. Rex is his middle name, and his first name isn't Christopher, just in case you were going to play that card on me. It might be, but not for the purposes of this. If it was full name, I would have based mine off William.

What's in a name?

Apparently, the letter E. Following is a list of the times you can find letters in our first and last names starting with the least and going up to the most. I compiled this during class today.
Z: 0
X: 0
F: 0
Q: 0
G: 1 (Stephen King)
V: 1 (Eve)
W: 2
J: 4
U: 4
P: 4
D: 5
B: 6
M: 6
K: 6
Y: 6
C: 8
H: 8
T: 11
I: 12
L: 12
O: 12
S: 12
R: 13
N: 13
A: 15
E: 17 (everyone has an E in their first or last name except Chris)

Seriously

Shouldn't he be doing homework or something?

Company members names in numbers

If you assign our names numbers (i.e. a = 1, b = 2, etc.) this is what it would look like. (SPACE equals space between first name and surname; if a letter has a double digit correspondent, followed by a single digit correspondent, the two are nontheless combined together. EXAMPLE: In Sara's name, "Kay" corresponds 11 for K, 1 for A, and 25 for Y. The result is 11125, because they're all put together. This gives the effect that people's numbered names are much longer than their conventional names.)Stephen King: 19205168514 119147
Eve Sorenson: 5225 191518514191514
Kitty Mortland: 119202025 13151820121144
Robert Bouwman: 1815251820 215212313114
Michelle Thompson-Hay: 13938512125 208151316191514-8125
Sara Kay Snider: 191181 11125 191494518
Nick Caruso: 149311 3118221915
Sarah Ballema: 1911818 2112125131
Jenni Cline: 10514149 3129145
BJ Stradley: 210 1920181412525
Dujuan Pritchett: 4211022114 16189203852020
Michael Brooks: 139381512 21815151119
PK Doyle: 1611 41525125
Chris Jacobs: 3818919 101315219
Will Riley: 2391212 18912525

Will needs a hobby

Suggestions?

Tale of Two (or 15) Company Members, by Will Riley

Stephen is the lame duck member
His image is but a fading ember
He will soon be gone
And a new day will dawn
And him; will we remember?

Nick is Mr. Sound design geek
In that area, he is certainly not weak.
He works really hard
He's not a retard
He may or may not like creeks.

BJ is a big-time nerd
He definitely belongs in that herd
But we are all proud of his work
It's certainly better than a Turk's
But not better than a Kurd's

Jenni is the webmokey's wife
Who cares if she's pro-choice or pro-life?
She went blind in Crypt
And blood she sipped
She then proceeded to cut off my arm with a knife

Kitty has the best laugh of the group
The first time I heard it it threw me for a loop
She is vegan i think
Thank goodness her ship didn't sink
'Cause we all know she came over to america after a coup

Sarah calls herself Sarah One
To her, we say, Thanks a ton
Shes done a whole lot for Corn
When shes not in a show, we mourn
But then we party and have fun

Dujuan is the black dude
He gets us in a good mood
He's one of the founders
When Jenni wed, he gown'd her
Well, maybe not, who cares?! At least he's not rude

Michelle Thompson Hay has a long last name
I have to write a long second line now...that's lame.
She's the managing director
She's a theater erector
I dunno what that means but to my mind, that's what came.

MB is Michael Brooks
He's not one of them crooks
He's a very very funny man
He enjoys big hairy purple crayons
I wonder what he likes. Maybe books?

PK is a loyal dem
With her, we found a gem.
Shes been around a long time
Maybe we should reward her with a lime.
or a big fat M & M

Sara is Sara Two
She brings an artistic view
She does a lot of work on sets
I think she has cats...ya know...pets.
She doesnt ever ever ever say boo.

Eve is a very fine lawyer
To the plaintiff she is an annoyer
She has done some work with us
I don't think Ive ever heard her cuss
For that, let's make her wait in the cold, damp, dank foyer.

Chris is the one and only Bobby Corn.
His chest, medals do adorn.
He gets teased a crapload
Maybe he should switch into rap mode.
Nah, that'd only receive scorn.

Robert is the artistic director and founder
Compared to me, his reputation is sounder
But that's not saying too much
Because I suck more than the Dutch
When the princess was stuck, he heroically unwound her

I am a total buffoon.
I stink up the joint worse than a raccoon.
Or a possum, for that matter
But I climb up the ladder.
And I jump down onto a baboon.

A Motion

I would like to put forth a motion to change the title of this blog to "Will's Drunken Blog." If it needs be a title with a segement in parenthesis, then I propose, "Will's Drunken Blog (for fuck's sake)."

All those in favor?

MK

May contain explicit language?

This blog, which says "May contain explicit language; be warned," and has a warning sign that you reach when trying to get to it from the Corn site, does not contain many very widely used explicit words: Motherfu**er, cu**, shi*, peni*, puss*, dil**, and probably others. You cornholes can certainly do better!

From the Mixed-up files of Mr. Will Riley

There is a girl named Sue. She is sitting at a table with four piles of drawings in front of her: drawings of me, drawings of her, drawings of her teacher, and drawings of her best friend. She wants to tear one of the pictures. I come in and say "Tear a 'me', Sue."

There is a bunch of bodily fluid from the center of a thing. There are several special interest groups sitting around a table bargaining with this bodily-fluid-from-the-center-of-something. They all want this thing to join their group and embody their group. One of the groups says, "Hey. Be us, core puss."

A scientific survey is performed to see which profession produces the most poop. The scientists look at a mill, a jewelry factory, a real estate office, and an auto dealership. They record their results by going into the bathroom of the place and taking all the crap from the toilet. They then put it into a measuring cup without measurements. Since there are no measurements, the scientists just have to report to the boss which poop fills the cup the most. After extensive research, they go back to the boss and say, "Mill turds fill more."

A guy named frank once asked a girl named lynn what she'd been doing. She had been playing her guitar. Lynn's answer to Frank's question is written as follows in history textbooks:
"Been jammin' Frank."
-Lynn

My mom wants new grass in her backyard. It is a very well-known fact. Everyone knows she wants new grass, but no one knows her name. On Who Wants to be a Millionaire, there was a question that went like this:
Seine wants ______
The contestant responded
"Sod. Um, who's Seine?"

Dear Mr. Riley,

Thank you for recent play submission, however we do not believe it is appropriate for our audience. While I do not doubt your artistic vision, we are unsure how repeating the word "blog," and variations thereof really constitutes a show. This may be more suited to a performance art festival, or maybe the Vagina Monologues. Anyway, we have decided to go a different direction with our new season. We are currently working on our next musical, Carp. Thank you for your time, and keep writing! You'll get there someday.

Thanks.

Bloggity Blog Blog. I like Blog.

Nick likes blog. Nick likes me blog. I like blog. He say priceless. I say more. More, more, more, more, more. Blog, blog, blog, bloggity, blogged, blog blah, blah, HA HA. Blog. Blog Blaaaahhhhg. This is a blog. I. Like. It. Blog More? As k and ye shall receive. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Ha Ha Stephen. You don't like, me like. Nick like. Here we go!!! Bloggy Bloggy Bloggy. I play with Bloggy. Blog is fun. Blog is my friend. Blog can be Stephen's friend, too. Blog, blog. He, He, He, He He. Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho. Hum. Ha, Ha stephen. I have a 4 and a half day weekend. Ha ha sucker. Blog. Blog. Blog. ME and blog, one and inseparable, a perfect union. Blahg, Blog, Blogg, no matter how you spell it, it is there for you. Shall I go into the kitchen to get the blog? Will I go into the kitchen to get the blog? May I go into the kitchen to get the blog? Remember that guys??!! Blog remmebers it. Blog has photographic memory. Blog, blog, blog. I'm going to play with it. Hi blog. Hi will. How are you. Good. Stephen tells me not to play with you. We are accepting of all people here in blog-land. If this Stpehen you speak fears me, who cares. We must accept him. Blog, thank you for your wise guidance. You are all-knowing. Bye blog. Bye will.

BOB Training

I went to Corn today for the kids show and learned how to BOB. BOB is both a noun and a verb. You can 'floss'... whoops. You can BOB, or you can be a BOB. It stands for Box Office B****. I have never BOBed before, as I've been in every show since I became a company member at 8:15 pm central time on April 18, 2006. (Only co. members BOB...well, usually) By the way, Crypt closed Halloween night. So anyway, it would seem pretty straightfoward...collecting money and counting it, but BOBs have other duties as well. So PK was bobbing today and she trained me on what to do. I now am going to be on my own on Saturday the 11th. But I think I'll be ready. I also got to see the show for the first time since the drunken preview. The most tiff-a-rific, mom-sational, spellbinding, smellbinding, mindbending, winebending, darwin proving, gravity challenging thing about the show is seeing Stephen King in that little yellow thing. Absolutely priceless.